Harps help Morpheus embrace us in his wings….zzzzz. But for Andrew Robert Rector, sleep came before the 7th inning stretch of the April 13th Yankee-Red Sox game. And now he’s suing.

Not because the game was boring, but for defamation. In his $10million suit, Rector alleges that

Yankees, ESPN and its announcers… broadcast photos of him asleep in his chair, calling him “fatty, unintelligent, [and] stupid.” Andrew Robert Rector sued Major League Baseball Advanced Media, ESPN New York, the New York Yankees, and ESPN announcers Dan Shulman and John Kruk, in Bronx County Supreme Court. He demands $10 million in damages for defamation and intentional infliction of emotional distress…

ESPN focused its cameras on him, Rector says, and then “Announcers like Dan Shulman and John Kruck unleashed avalanche of disparaging words against the person of and concerning the plaintiff. These words, include but not limited to ‘stupor, fatty, unintelligent, stupid’ knowing and intending the same to be heard and listened to by millions of people all over the world …”

Maybe Rector should have stayed in bed. Or had some espresso. Doesn’t it say on tickets to public events that you might be filmed and broadcast? And what, you’re gonna sue Don Rickles for heckling you? In the suit, Rector’s lawyer contends:

Rector claims the commentary and photos showed him in a false light, damaged his reputation, and the fact that he was napping was not an issue of legitimate public concern.

He claims that the defendants “negligently or maliciously published false, defamatory statement of fact about the plaintiff, a private individual. The false statements include but are not limited to:

“Plaintiff is unintelligent and stupid individual.
“Plaintiff is not worthy to be fan of the New York Yankee.
“Plaintiff is a fatty cow that need two seats at all time and represent symbol of failure.
“Plaintiff is a confused disgusted and socially bankrupt individual.
“Plaintiff is confused individual that neither understands nor knows anything about history and the meaning of rivalry between Red Sox and New York Yankee.
“Plaintiff is so stupid that he cannot differentiate between his house and public place by snoozing throughout the fourth inning of the Yankee game.”

Seriously, instead of a lawyer, Rector should get an agent, and like Levi Johnson–remember him-he knocked up Bristol Palin–do a pistachio commercial.

Pistachios are full of protein to keep you awake through the 7th inning stretch and beyond. Plus, I’d rather crack my own nuts than have ESPN do it for me.